One Year Ago Today ...

I lost my marriage, my best friend, my house, my ability to be a stay-at-home mom, my stability, my future ... my life.

One hour-long conversation with my now ex-husband and everything in my life was unexpectedly and horrifically different.

This is not a post of wallowing, but of remembrance. A look back to see how far I've come, where the Lord provided for me. Or where I still need a lot of prayer and encouragement.

Marriage--the dissolution went as well as it could, really. I'm thankful there wasn't anger and bitterness and fighting on each side. We've done the best we could to work together for the kids.

Best friend--the void left by his departure opened my world up to new people. In the past year, a handful of new friends have become very close. They care about me, pray for me, worry about me, and encourage me. If Kevin hadn't left, I wouldn't have developed these new friendships in the same way.

House--still in the same house, and not in debt yet, which is a truly a miracle. I love watching the kids take off into the forest, love knowing we're safe in a way because of our seclusion, love the beauty of this place, love the ease of entertaining here. But it's also been the biggest weight to carry. Instead of working to get ahead, or feeling satisfaction in moving forward, I work as many hours as I can to barely make it. (Like so many people in the current economy.) It feels like my efforts disappear into the past instead of build a future.

SAHM--I miss enjoying my kids. Don't get me wrong; I still carve time to really play with them or listen to them. Unfortunately, a lot of the time I spend with them is split between cooking or homework or housework or writing work. It's much more difficult to give them undivided attention when I'm playing the role of both parents in their day-to-day life. This is NOT a I-don't-like-to-work whine, because I find subbing/writing/editing to be extremely satisfying. It IS a man-I-had-it-good declaration.

Stability--still gone. Everything remains in flux. Which means that flux itself is the only thing not in flux. ;)

Future--God knows what it holds, but I don't. Will I keep subbing as long as this license will let me, or go back for my Master's and be a "real" teacher? Will I go into a completely different field? Will my next book sell and build on the readership I've already gained this last year?

Life--"Angel's" adoption is moving right ahead, so I do know that my future holds another child! I have a wonderful boyfriend who prays for me, supports me, and refreshes me ... yet he and I openly acknowledge that God might very well call us to part ways at some point.

1 Samuel 7:12 (NIV)says, "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, 'Thus far has the LORD helped us.'"

Please pray for my family this next day. A year ago we experienced the worst stress of our lives, but we want to focus on all that we have, not all we lost. The lyrics to this song are perfect for capturing my feelings today. Enjoy!



(If you're reading this on facebook and the video was stripped, here's the link.)

Great Way to Find Good Books!

Lately, I've been doing a lot of things I'd been putting off for a long time. Friday, at 12:30 AM, I got the proposal for my next book off to my extraordinary agent, Wendy Lawton. My inbox is down to a mere FOUR emails--can't remember the last time that happened. I've caught up on most of my business dealings, mailings, promotions, etc, ...

One thing I finally crossed off my to-do list this afternoon was getting my info into Fiction Finder. Now that I'm fully loaded, I want to make SURE you all know about this cool tool for finding good reads. One can search by genre or author or title or setting or issue. Each book also has a scale ranking the following characteristics of the book from 1 to 10:

Action
Conflict
Humor
Mystery
Romance
Spirituality
Suspense
Language
Sensuality
Violence

If you've read The Familiar Stranger, stop by and see if I captured the scale correctly! Oh, and it you've already posted a review on amazon or cbd, come post the same review on Fiction Finder.

Have a Doppelganger? Win My Book!

Michelle Sutton is giving away The Familiar Stranger on her Edgy Inspirational Author blog. All you have to do to enter is answer this random question:  

Do you know anyone who looks like you? or have you ever been mistaken for someone?

Just for fun, I went to Pickitup.com to check for a celebrity match up. Hmm ...

Using this picture:

I got this result (Emmanuelle Vaugier):

I'll take it!

Thicker Than Blood-Review and Giveaway!

TitleTrakk.com Blog Tours Presents:

Thicker than Blood
by C.J. Darlington
Published by Tyndale House

Winner of the
2008 Christian Writers Guild Operation First Novel Contest!

Christy Williams finally has her life on track. She’s putting her past behind her and working hard to build a career as an antiquarian book buyer. But things begin to unravel when a stolen Hemingway first edition is found in her possession, framing her for a crime she didn’t commit. With no one to turn to, she yearns for her estranged younger sister, May, whom she abandoned after their parents’ untimely deaths. Soon, Christy’s fleeing from her shattered dreams, her ex-boyfriend, and God. Could May’s Triple Cross Ranch be the safe haven she’s searching for? Will the sisters realize that each possesses what the other desperately needs before it’s too late?

MY REVIEW: This is the second Christian Writers Guild Operation First Novel Winner I've read, the first being Jennifer Erin Valent's Fireflies in December. What a service the Guild is doing by finding such fabulous authors, and kudos to Tyndale for publishing great fiction!

C.J. Darlington's debut is a wonderful start to what I'm sure will be a long, successful career. First off, Christy's career as a rancher and May's as a book buyer are not the ho-hum, usual careers of characters. That should have tipped me off from the beginning that this would be a book that would keep my interest long into the night. Darlington masterfully creates scenes that are inherently intriguing. How many books have you read where the majority of the book takes place in a living room/coffee shop/office with a whole lot of talking? Myself, too many! In Thicker Than Blood, the reader is treated to a look at the backroom of book buying and the open range of ranching. The characters DO things while sharing their thoughts, which leads to an active, engaging story.


The themes of forgiveness, importance of family, and the constant offer from God for a new life are deftly woven into the story. Never, not even during a sermon, did the writing come across as preachy. In fact, Christy's point of view of a non-Christian is among the best I've read for showing exactly how crazy the Christian faith can seem to one who hasn't yet chosen to give control on his/her life to God. There were other issues dealt with that I can't go into without giving some plot points away, but Darlington manages to take these massive, painful life choices and fit them naturally into one hurting, seeking heart.

Lovers of horses, lovers of books, or lovers of story will enjoy this suspenseful debut!



With careful attention to detail, emotion, and scene-setting, C.J. Darlington scores with her debut effort. Here is a special writer you won’t want to miss.
--Jerry B. Jenkins, New York Times best selling author

If you love a good read filled with adventure and ultimately redemption, I encourage you to brew the tea, settle into your favorite chair and pick up the page turner that is C.J. Darlington’s imaginative new novel of a modern day sisterhood that triumphs over separation and the raw challenges of life to find the real endurance of both family ties and God’s amazing grace.
--Rebecca St. James, Grammy award winning Christian singer and bestselling author

With Thicker than Blood, C.J. Darlington proves she's a novelist for the long-haul, a strong new voice in Christian fiction. This book speaks to the heart, from the heart, about the heart. Readers will not soon forget it.
--Sibella Giorello, Christy award-winning author of The Rivers Run Dry & The Clouds Roll Away

Watch the book trailer:

About the Author:
C. J. began writing the story that would become Thicker than Blood (her first novel) when she was a fifteen-year-old homeschool student. She has been in the antiquarian bookselling business for over a decade, scouting for stores similar to the one described in the novel before cofounding her own online bookstore. Thicker than Blood was the winner of the 2008 Christian Writers Guild Operation First Novel.

C. J. co-founded the Christian entertainment Web site TitleTrakk.com with her sister, Tracy, and has been actively promoting Christian fiction through book reviews and author interviews. She makes her home in Pennsylvania with her family and their menagerie of dogs and cats. Visit her website www.cjdarlington.com for more info.

QUICK LINKS:

• The 1st chapter of Thicker than Blood
• The "Story Behind the Story" of Thicker than Blood
• More endorsements from Jenny B. Jones, James Scott Bell, Susan Meissner, and more!
• Our interview with C.J. at TitleTrakk.com
  
• Buy Thicker than Blood at Christianbook.com
• Buy Thicker than Blood at Amazon.com
• List of the other 85+ Thicker than Blood blog tour participants!

Leave a comment on Blogger, Facebook, Shoutlife, or Twitter and you'll be entered to win a copy of this book!

A "Fast" Answer

Matthew 6:16 (New International Version)

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.

Basically, if we are fasting we shouldn't run around with a megaphone, yelling, "LOOK AT ME! I'm fasting!!" But I'm kinda going to bend the rules here, because I can't help sharing.

I know that my non-Christian friends that read this might have some questions about fasting, so I'll share why I've recently made this an infrequent discipline in my life. ["Infrequent discipline"--sounds like an oxymoron, and that makes me giggle] With so much change and upheaval in my life, there have been a few times where my head gets chaotically full of ideas and plans and contingencies. I can barely focus on what needs to be done, and prayer becomes a joke, a constant battle to even remember I'm praying.

Then God brought a man into my life who led by example, fasting when he had an important decision to make. Since watching him, I've fasted from a circumstance/situation once, and food twice.

The purpose of fasting, as I understand it and use it in my life, is this: every time a thought/desire surfaces about what I've given up, it's a reminder to pray again about what's on my heart. I'm a wimp, however, so only do a liquid diet from sunrise to sunset. And boy howdy, was dinner great tonight!!

All that to preface--I have to share an amazing thing that happened today. If you're still here, that is. :)

I was fasting specifically about the sale of the house. It's been on the market for nine months and we've had very few lookers. The large mortgage hangs around my neck like an albatross, and it's been discouraging. Logically, I know the market is not fantastic, and an even smaller section of the pool is looking for anything in our price range. Emotionally, it's hard to hold onto hope that it will sell and I'll be able to move on with my life.

So what do you know ... long about 3:30 a Realtor calls and makes an appointment to show the house. On Friday. Which is the day that two other people are fasting about the house selling!

Not to put any pressure on the lookers, but the mere fact that SOMEONE is coming to look at the place gives me such hope. It was as if God reached down and patted me on the back. "Nice focus, Christina. Keep up the good work!"

What a treasure to see Him concretely and intimately involved in my everyday life.

Who's Darren????

Yes, inquiring minds have been wanting to know, especially because he seemed to pop up out of nowhere. Well, that's not really the case, of course, as we decided not to post anything publicly, ie. on facebook/blogger/twitter, until we were sure of the direction we were going. Anyhoo, let's go to the lists of fun facts, shall we?

He plays bass and drums--but not at the same time--on the worship band at his church. Which, if you read the last post you already know, is SIX hours away.

Coaches softball.

Bowls. And a little birdie told me his game has improved since he's met me. Must be the extra spring in his step.

Fishes. I'm not a huge fan because no matter how long I dangle that string in the water, I've yet to catch a thing in my life, but my kids and grandfather LOVE to fish.

We connected on facebook in a similiar fashion to the way I did with my other almost 1100 other friends, but something felt different right away. When I first read his info listing of, "Just a Christian guy who enjoys life, friends and family and does it to the fullest," my heart skipped a beat. Our first phone conversation lasted 2 hours and 45 minutes. For the last couple of months, we've talked about that much each day.

He's only visited twice, but the time together has been wonderful, and I'm due to his neck of the woods near the end of the month.

"WHAT'S THIS?" you're exclaiming. "Christina, you met a man on the internet, have only known him for a short time, saw him in person fairly quickly, and invest that much time in conversation with him? Didn't your parents teach you any internet safety??"

Well, no. There really wasn't any internet safety to teach back then, so we can't blame my parents.

I guess I should clarify that we actually re-met on facebook. We knew each other fifteen years ago! We lived in Pendleton (OR) then, and he was brought in to be my ex's boss when Ex had to step down from his managerial position to concentrate more on college. Yes, I'm dating my ex's boss.

But it gets crazier!

He came to our wedding. He gave us cash. Now, I've not seen this in any etiquette book, but it seems to me that if a marriage between Man K and Woman C unfortunately and tragically [one word seems to minimize, the next to dramatize, so I figured that put together they form a pretty good description] ends in divorce, and Man D starts to date Woman C, that he should get a full refund of his wedding gift to K & C. With inflation.

And now for the especially God-ordained part ... Man K and I used to invite Darren to church with us when we were engaged. He accepted a few times. Which means a decade and a half ago, Darren listened to my dad's sermons and came over afterward to partake of my mother's delicious cooking. A few years ago, Darren heard a voice asking him if he wanted more than the empty life he was living. He DID and he knew he would find it by turning to God, in part because of the time he spent with us at church.

Tingles anyone? There are many more things like that we're discovering as we really get to know each other, but that will do for now.

And our relationship? Only officially became an exclusive dating one in the first hour of 2010. Driving home from a church friend's party, the kids kept urging me to say I'd be his girlfriend, so he asked and I said yes, and the backseat erupted in cheers!

Would it be awful to have posted all this and then have our relationship turn sour quickly? Of course! But we're both seeking God's will and feeling that we have His approval in this romance, and will trust Him to guide it where it should go. Pray for us to do things wisely, to listen closely to what the Lord says. Also, pray for Darren's family as they've just experienced a close relative dying.

Oh, I'm a neat freak and he's a packrat. Sounds like a perfect match to me!

Five Things I've Learned So Far This Year

1. When having nine 11-year-olds spend the night, realize they have now reached an age where you must make an informational announcement along these lines: "As we've come to the end of the crazy screaming and hysterical laughter time of the night and are moving onto the lie in your sleeping bags and whisper part, please silence all cell phones." Otherwise you will be woken to a "heard" (because they ARE very noisy) of wild girls all running up the stairs at 7 AM because someone's ring tone of an upbeat Hannah Montana song went off.

2. Bangs are the bane of a woman's existence. I knew this. I live in a rainy part of the country where hairdos become hairdids with one trip outside. I still chose to cut them. There have been days where their fringy existence drives me bonkers. But this I have learned: using a curling iron as a hair straightener is not very effective. Just bum your daughter's straightener and you'll be much happier.

3. I am very tempted to do something illegal, and this urge even landed me in The Oregonian. If you have questions about the new "hands free" changes regarding cell phones, give it a lookeelou. (This not a dictionary approved word, so let me know how to spell it.)

4. Wenatchee, Washington is a lot of hours away.

5. Falling in love is risky, energizing, humbling, tricky, amazing, overwhelming, and makes me pray a lot! If you're a facebook friend (or are reading this on facebook), you might have noticed there is a special man in my life ... who happens to live in Wenatchee. I have strongly considered writing a post entitled, "Who is this Darren guy?" simply because so many people have dropped me notes asking about him. There really is a fascinating story behind us knowing each other, but I wonder if you want to hear it. Some of you will think that the 11 months I've experienced of being single is nowhere near enough passage of time to date. Others will think I've waited too long. I trust you all know me well enough (or will give me the benefit of the doubt) that I seek after God's will in my life and would only go into a relationship with a strong man of the Lord who possesses solid character, integrity, and a heart hungry for knowing more of Jesus. He also happens to make me laugh, feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and be willing to risk the hurt because the potential joy is so great. Plus, he understands my writing compulsion!

So ... I'm not asking for your approval to date or not, but I am asking if you'd like to hear about our relationship as it progresses. As I see so many things God is revealing in my heart or blessings He is giving me, I hope to share them. After all, this blog has always been just as much for personal and spiritual connections as it has been for professional or "writerly" connections.

Before you make your opinion known, check out the great captions I gave our last visit. :)